#BanBossy

Ban Bossy is a public service campaign sponsored by Girl Scouts of America and Lean In, an organization which is the namesake of the bestseller written by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s current Chief Operating Officer. If you haven’t read Lean In, just do it. 

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead is Sheryl Sandberg’s response to the Facebook mantra “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” It is her reply to the concept “write the book you need to read.” It is a thorough, well-researched work that explores the social constructs that have led to a large deficiency of female leaders in our governments and corporations. 

Lean in is more than a book now. It is a movement. It is about recognizing that women face discrimination and gender biases in the workplace, but refusing to use these obstacles as excuses for our failure to pursue leadership roles and successful careers.  It’s about assuming success, getting it done, then using positions of power to influence the way we as a society think about, interact with, and raise our women. 

Ban Bossy is the crucial next phase of the Lean In movement.  It is a call to change the way educators, parents, and peers communicate with young girls. Women learn shame and embarrassment as young girls. We learn that a demonstration of confidence is quickly mistaken for arrogance. We learn that giving directions and asserting ourselves makes us bossy and therefore not likeable. Simply put, Girls are discouraged from leading.

Girls are twice as likely as boys to worry that leadership roles will make them seem “bossy.” - BanBossy.com

As a result, girls often lean towards passivity, self-deprecation, and even passive-aggression in an effort to be well-liked. We trade leadership for likability. As adults, we fail to sit at the table, and it is assumed we don’t want to be invited.  Our talents, skills, and ideas never make it to said table. Everyone loses.

 We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in. We internalize the negative messages we get throughout our lives—the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. - Lean In

So, what’s the solution? The answer is to create environments where girls are encouraged and pushed to express their opinions and assert themselves without being branded as aggressive or overly ambitious (is there such a thing?). Women must pledge to model authentic, assertive, and self-aware behavior for our children, and men must show them that these attributes are not only acceptable, but desirable.  We must abandon the sticks and stones philosophy and own the power of our words. We must ban bossy, so that someday there won’t be female leaders. There will just be leaders.

I encourage you to take the pledge at BanBossy.com, commit on social media with #banbossy, and share your leadership story in the comments!

I am (still) my hair.

The (half) black girl hair dialogue. I have to be honest.  I've been avoiding it.  As a college educated, socially aware, usually vocal woman, I have made a sociological textbook mistake.

I convinced myself that if I did not politicize my transition to "natural" hair, it could not be political. This, coming from a woman who wrote an entire thesis entitled "Crowning Glory: The Politics of Black Women and Hair" for a feminist theory class. How did I get here?

It is all a matter of perspective. When I was in college, I had long, flowing, permed hair.  I could curl it with an iron, whip it back and forth in the club, and withstand hours in the Central Texas humidity without so much as a flyaway. I was a part of the status quo in this sense, more or less. I recognized the very complex relationship that black women have with their hair, but I had never truly felt marginalized because of my mane.



Me with long, relaxed hair

But, about 2 years ago, I decided I wanted to try something different.  That's it. I was tired of straight and I wanted the versatility of experimenting with my natural texture. I wanted to channel Corrine Bailey Rae. I wasn't trying to stick it to societal expectations. I wasn't trying to get back to my African roots. I was not out to prove that I Am Not My Hair. I was not even terribly concerned about the salon chemicals leeching into my bloodstream (although, whoa, kinda scary).

Not that any of these reasons for going natural are invalid. They just were not my reasons, and I was frustrated when my curly, kinky roots started showing and people asked me what my motivations were. Nobody asked me what compelled me when I decided to dye my hair black in high school, or when I had that botched Carrot Top dye job freshman year. Or even when I decided to chop it all of a la Rihanna.

Because cuts and colors are neutral ground and my hair as it grows out of my head is a freaking agenda.

Still, I avoided the hair politics discussion right down to my "big chop" a few months ago. Now, there are people in my life that have never known me with any other hair but what I have now. And it's kind of a relief. Because, geez...the explanations are exhausting.


I have tried to separate myself from the wave of women calling natural hair a lifestyle change because it felt like that framing was giving hair more power than it deserves. What I know now is that hair is still a part of our social identities and Black hair is still a journey, no matter which way you wear it.

Personally, my hair now means learning to handle something ever-changing and essentially foreign to me.  It is dealing with frustratingly clueless hairdressers and watching hours of YouTube tutorials. It is feeling a little awkward when the TSA agent pats down your afro puff looking for God-knows-what. It is nearing tears when a rude beauty store clerk tells you that "When the ad said the sale was on ALL hair products, they didn't mean those ones."

It's also about trying new 'dos, feeling more confident than ever, and being free to walk in the rain without a plastic bag on my head. Small victories.


Various stages of curly

I have many more thoughts to share on this topic, but the bottom line is this:  Whether I agree to it or not, I am still my hair.

Avoiding the topic doesn't make it go away.  The only way to upend these social constructs is to give my experiences a voice. Let's keep talking about it until it's no longer up for discussion. Because, seriously, don't we have more important matters to address?

Year of the Bridesmaid

For me, 2014 is going to be the year of the bridesmaid. The year of the right-hand woman. The year of the Pinterest-obsessed, checklist-wielding, overprotective best friend. 2014 is the year of everyone else's wedding.

As I move into my mid-twenties, my calendar is filling up with dress fittings, bachelorette parties, and baby showers.  My Facebook News Feed is replete with photos of babies, engagement rings, and keys to new homes.

None of them are mine. And I'm not sad about it.  And I'm not sarcastically self-satisfied about it. Actually, I'm pretty thrilled. And nobody seems to believe or accept this.

I am continually being asked these questions:

"Are you starting to feel the pressure? Isn't it difficult seeing everyone else fly past you?"
No. (Nope, not even a little.)

"When is he going to put a ring on your finger?"
Someday. Maybe soon. Maybe not. We'll see. No hurry.

"What are you waiting for?"
Nothing in particular. And yet, something. Until, eventually, it will be neither.

My answers are always met with unbelieving winks and elbow-to-rib motions, as if to say "We know you're just saying that to sound nonchalant. Everybody feels the pressure."

You see, if you are between 25 and 30, you have a few socially acceptable behaviors:
1. Marriage, procreation, or both.
2. Self deprecation for not having achieved #1.
3. Smug disdain for those partaking in either #1 or #2. (Who would want to be married before they're 30 anyway?! Yuck!)

What is unacceptable? Contentment with being single (or unmarried, or apartment-dwelling, or childless) paired with joy for all the people you love who are going through crazy, beautiful, life-altering new experiences. I am taking a stand for that camp, and I hope more people will join me.

I am here to make these declarations. It is okay to still be figuring it out. It is fine if you're not ready. You are allowed to hold out for the perfect partner. You are permitted to be in love with someone and not hearing wedding bells just yet. Just be happy. Be hopeful. Be deliberate. Be the best bridesmaid you can be.

My time will come. I will be ready when I'm ready.

Until then, I will snap the photos, drive the miles, hold the veils, cry the happy tears, and Pin all the Pins with all the enthusiasm these tasks deserve. I will love, let love, and root for love. And I will wait my turn.

Sincerely,

Always a Bridesmaid, Someday a Bride

Home

In the west Texas town where I grew up, the sun comes down hard on its people
Like a disapproving father
A mountain silhouette wraps its arms around you,
its anemic air simultaneously giving life and making it hard to breathe.
Like a mother torn between nursing her baby
and smothering it.
Clouds cast moving shadows on the hillsides,
mocking the shapes of birds and snakes.
Like the light show puppets
my father used to sing me to sleep.

I ran from these hills once.
Breathless.

But they do not begrudge me.
Each time I return, they greet me like a prodigal.
Golden poppies unroll like a welcome mat across the valley.
Cacti lift their prickly arms to wave 'hello'.
Mountain peaks stand at attention
and stars twinkle lullabies.

And I take a slow, intentional breath,
Do everything I can to commit to memory the hollowed voice of the summer breeze.
The fault lines and furrows of my father's hands.

The adventure that almost wasn't. On overcoming fear...

My friend and colleague, Lauren, writes over at I'm Better in Real Life.  She has a way with making the everyday extraordinary. She chronicles her adventures, shares her misadventures, and occassionally taunts Republicans. It's all real life and it's all entertaining.

Last month, I had the honor of sharing a post with her readers about my adventure in New York City. Check it out!

One of the things I really love about my job is that I get to travel. During my first week, I trained in San Francisco where I met Lauren, who I soon discovered to be my uncanny counterpart in the universe. Then I got to go to New York City for the first time and ride a subway and eat hotdogs on the street and wear one of those shamefully cheesy I <3 NY hoodies and it was glorious.

So, when I got the opportunity to plan another business trip to the Big Apple, I was definitely excited. Then, a week before my trip, Sandy went all woman scorned, ripping up boardwalks and flooding subway stations and whatnot. The news footage was awful and New Yorkers and New Jers(ians?) were devastated. And I was…terrified.

I may have had a minor meltdown and begged my boss to delay my trip, citing impossible public transportation conditions, a cancelled reservation at a closed hotel, and ohmygosh what if Sandy comes back for more? I begged, I pleaded. Please don’t make me.

Ultimately, I had to answer to my boss’s boss about cancelling a costly trip. It was kind of like when you ask your dad for something, knowing he will say yes. Then he says “ask your mom.” And you’re like…never mind. When I had to explain my objections to the big boss, I was suddenly very embarrassed. I realized I was sounding like a big, ungrateful whiner. “I have to go to Manhattan?! And stay in a fancy hotel? For FREE? Woe is me!!”

And so my pride won over my fear and I went. But not without some considerable pouting and a [possibly subconscious] delay that almost made me miss my flight.

New York City is resilient. She’d bounced back by the time I’d arrived. Besides some stores being shut down near the seaport, the city was going about business as usual.

On the work side of the trip, I got to schmooze with some of the big shots in the company. They were impressed by my insight and my confidence in giving them constructive feedback about recent goings-on. I learned that the scope of my job is much larger than I thought, and I ended feeling re-energized and excited to get back to the office and put new things into play.

Basically, I owned it.

In the evenings, I was on my own. Oh, hello fear! You again! Alone in New York with the bad guys, and the big crowds, and the people who would surely know I’m an awkward solo girl. On the first night, I elected to stay in.

On Tuesday, I had a talk with my mother. She said she was so proud of me and my new job. Doing all the things she wished she could. Going places! Seeing the world! She was amazed at what a strong, confident woman I’ve become. Little did she know, I’d spent the previous night locked in a 150 square foot hotel room watching Pawn Stars and ordering room service. Mothers always just know what to say, don’t they?

At that I decided to take control of my situation, live up to my name, and stomp out fear.

In that moment everything changed. I navigated the streets and the avenues and the subway tunnels all on my own. I ate alone at bars in fancy restaurants, striking up conversations with strangers. I ordered an appletini because that’s what Carrie Bradshaw would do. I sat by myself in Bryant Park, drinking hot cider and watching ice skaters glide under the Christmas lights. I saw a musical on Broadway. I passed by Henry Winkler on the street, and he laughed at the face I made when I registered that he was The Fonz(!), then he waved at me and smiled. I stood in the middle of Grand Central Terminal and watched thousands of people swirl around me until I was dizzy with pure joy. I had a fall fling with New York City.

I had a beautiful, magical, so unreal, one-week fling with New York City – my greatest adventure yet. And it almost didn’t happen.

What adventures have you allowed your fear or uncertainty to steal from you? (There’s still time!) What great adventures have you had that were nearly missed because you were afraid?

Alec Baldwin is key to all success...and other things I learned from Bossypants

I don’t typically read books written by celebrities, on principle.  I spent nearly 4 years and tens of thousands of dollars to receive a piece of paper stating I have mastered the English language.  I may still have to spend thousands hours more to be deemed worthy of publishing. So, I find it unfair that any Polizzi, Conrad, or Duff can publish a novel and make money simply because they already have money.

This passionate resistance is why it took over a year for me to succumb to the curiosity and peer pressure to read Tina Fey’s memoir/self-help guide/laugh factory, Bossypants.  Sometimes you have to get off your high horse to pan for gold. I’m glad I made the dismount for this gem.

This book is full of little crumbs of hilarity laced with wisdom where you’d least expect it.  Bossypants follows in the fashion of Fey’s screenplay for Mean Girls.  It brings attention to some ugly realities of being female, and then flips them upside down so we can laugh at them and at ourselves.  When it comes to being a lady boss, Tina demands her peers take her seriously without doing so herself.

Here are 5 things I already kind of knew but for which I found affirmation in Bossypants:

1.       “We should leave people alone about their weight,” and their looks, and their choices about childbearing and breast-feeding.   Fey asserts that social expectations for women are largely unattainable, unless you’re “Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”  So, just accept what works for you, which is sometimes skinny, and sometimes a little chubby, and sometimes not what works for the next girl.

2.       Career advancement is not an election for homecoming queen. You don’t automatically lose if another girl wins.  “People are going to try to trick you. To make you feel like you are in competition with one another… Don't be fooled. You're not in competition with other women. You're in competition with everyone.”

3.       “Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.”  If Tina Fey cried every time someone told her women just aren’t funny or that she is an overrated troll, she wouldn’t have the time to be the Emmy award-winning, money-making BOSS that she is. 

4.       Going home for Christmas is a good way to stay down-to-earth.  Fey and her family make an annual pilgrimage from Philadelphia to Youngstown every year.  They have a sweet Christmas, complete with a senile, chain-smoking Mamaw, and “hugs and kisses and pies and soup and ham and biscuits…”

5.       Age is nothing but a number. Turning 40 (or 25, or 30) is only enormous if you allow it to be.  What turning 40 means to Tina Fey:  “I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do. “
 

Oh, and, although you may never find yourself in this position, in case you do, “…when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your f***ing life."

For the Love of Words: Getting Real

I have a very difficult confession to make. I have been a fraud. I am a writer who doesn't write. I'm pretty good at it. I'm passionate about it. I have blueprinted my future on the foundation of writing. I largely associate my identity with it. I've done it all my life. 

I write important emails for my boyfriend. I am one of the few people in my generation who still sends hand-written cards to friends and family. I do a few guest posts on friends' blogs here and there. I even get paid to write at my 9-5. 

But somewhere in the past year, I stopped writing about what counts, when it counts. I got busy. I didn't have anything important [enough] to say. I had writer's block. I was using all my creativity during the work day. When friends asked how my writing was going, how that book is coming along, I'd say "I'm working on it. It's going. I just need to make more time."  And then I didn't.

And I have felt the big, empty hole left behind for months and months now. Then I felt that I couldn't possibly write anything good anymore because I have allowed my hands and my right brain to atrophy. It was too late.

 Then I started seeing little messages like this blog post by Seth Godin: 

" Writer's block isn't hard to cure.

Just write poorly. Continue to write poorly, in public, until you can write better."

And this one, by one of my writerly friends whom I very much admire:

"I'm afraid of using a bunch of words to say nothing. Or using a bunch of words to say what's already been said. So, sometimes, I really do just say nothing. Is that writerly? I wonder."  

To which my answer is YES.

So...this blog is making a comeback. And I am about to get real.

 “It's hell writing and it's hell not writing. The only tolerable state is having just written.”
―Robert Hass

News to me: Books

We all know by now that I love a good book. Heck, I even love a decent book. I even find some empathy for a bad one, simply because it tried.

Here are a few things I'm excited about in the world of books:

Illustrator Jillian Tamaki has teamed up with Penguin Books to release a new book series this fall which will feature these lovely embroidered covers. I've always known that I will collect books for my children when I have them, and what a treat these would be.

Shel Silverstein was one of my favorite writers as a kid, and still one of my all-time favorite poets. His poetry collections are the epitome of fun and whimsy with words. The LA Times recently announced that a collection of posthumous poems will be released by HarperCollins this fall.

I have gotten hooked on Good Reads.  It is essentially a social network for nerdy bookworms like yours truly.  You can let friends know what books you are currently reading, review books you've already read, create a to-read list, and exchange suggestions with your friends. When you finish a book, you can also take fun trivia quizzes or list your book in the book swap so you can trade it for something new!

What do you think about the new Penguin Threads Deluxe Classics? Do you put any thought into what your books look like?

Did you grow up on Shel Silverstein? What other books/authors remind you of your childhood? I want to hear from you!

"What Are You?": Shades of Grey, Part I

Can you recall the first time you realized a difference between yourself and someone else? Until this point in childhood, we know people only as Mommy, Daddy, Teacher, Friend; there are no distinguishing features.

For me, it was probably around first grade. One of my classmates asked me a question which I have been hearing all my life ever since. We were intently digging for earthworms in the playground sandbox, talking about our favorite colors and what we hoped would be in our lunchboxes, when she dropped a bomb on my innocent world.

"So,what are you?"

Honestly, I don't remember what my initial response was that time. But I eventually realized she was trying to figure out my ethnicity. My mom is Black. My dad is White. So, what was I? Clueless.

See the hair and the sass on the left? You guessed it.
And on the right? My sister.

That was the first instance of many when navigating a bi-racial childhood was awkward or confusing.
After school, I marched out of that classroom and demanded some answers from Mom and Dad. Imagine me. Three feet tall, all curls, and a whole lot of sass.

After my parents calmed me down, they explained to me this alien concept of racial differences, and that i was mixed, or bi-racial, and that meant I got the best of both worlds. I liked that idea. For Mother's Day that year, I gave my mom my Crayola Family Portrait, complete with her face in Mahogany, Dad's in Peach, and mine in Raw Sienna.  This was before the advent of People Colors.

The conversation I had with my parents that day built the foundation for my personal identity throughout the rest of my life.  I'm thankful for the literal and figurative gift of both worlds that my parents gave me.

Time Magazine's Healthland got me thinking about these issues, as the website has featured a lot of talk about mixed-race kids lately.

One article cites studies that show most mixed-race kids (particularly half-black, half-white or half-hispanic, half-white)  strongly self-identify with their minority race because outside perceptions often box them in that group, anyway. Another indicates that this concept of the "forced-choice dilemma" is outdated, and suggests that today's mixed kid is more well-adjusted when she embraces her blended heritage.

The article that really got my eyebrows raising was published today. The article speculates about whether race should be considered in custody determination, since racial identity can serve as a driving force for social issues in a child's life; it especially highlighted the potential custody battle between Halle Berry and her child's father, Gabriel Aubry. The article referred to Halle Berry's upcoming March cover story in Ebony, where she has been quoted saying [about her daughter, Nahla] "I feel she's black. I'm black and I'm her mother and I believe in the one-drop theory." 



Halle's March Ebony Cover



All I could think was "Oh. Halle. For so long, you have been my mixed-girl champion. You were my looks-like-me in the magazines as a teen. Please don't set us back like this."  Needless to say, Ebony can count on at least one more magazine sale in March. I have to give my girl a chance to explain herself.

My lunch-time reading left me with a lot of questions today. Who's White? Who's Black? Who's Mixed? Who knows?

It also left me with a sense of gratitude for the gift my parents gave me. Although I may have to answer it repeatedly, I never again have to ask the question "What am I?"

Surpassing Educational Boundaries: Criminal Intent?

The Internet is buzzing about President Obama's most recent State of the Union address, wherein he emphasized the importance of improving primary and secondary education in addressing social and economic issues and ensuring a better future for America. 

Sounds like a plan.

The unfortunate truth is that, not only is America as a whole lagging behind in education, some schools and districts don't have the money or resources to meet even minimal standards. The facts are well-known. Not all schools are created equal. Schools in poverty-stricken, low-income areas often face issues with violence and crime, and usually have lower test scores and dismal retention rates. In fact, according to an article in the Huffington Post, about 15% of schools account for over 50% of dropouts, the majority of those being Latinos and African Americans.  Although it's nowhere near impossible, this means the odds are stacked against our next Black president hopefuls.

One Ohio mother was recently jailed for trying to even that playing field for her children. Kelley Williams-Bolar lives in the projects of Akron, OH. She has been sending her children to school in a nearby suburban public school district for nearly three years. The students' grandfather lived in the more affluent district, and their mother used his address on school documents. The district hired a private investigator who confirmed the actual address of the students.

She has since been convicted of falsifying records, a felony charge for which she will serve 10 days in jail and 180 hours of community service.  The sentence sounds like a slap on the wrist in comparison to the original 10-year prison sentence, but the felony charge will remain on the mother's record, limiting her employment opportunities and probably barring her from a career in teaching .

Sounds like cyclical injustice to me.

I understand that the law is black-and-white. What Williams-Bolar did is clearly fraud; that cannot be disputed. However, we should be examining not only the "criminal activity" but the system that drove her to it. Something is flawed here.

Time Magazine Article
Change.org Article
Show Me Campaign

Reach Your Peak: Lessons in Life and Snowboarding

Yesterday, for the first time in 2 years, I hit the slopes at Ski Apache in Mescalero, NM. Today, it was painful to toss the covers off and get out of bed.  Tumbling downhill  Snowboarding really takes it out of you, but it was a blast! As I listened to my more seasoned friends and the resort's instructors, I realized that many guidelines in snowboarding can be used in everyday life.

 

1. Set your sights in the direction you want to go, and do not stray.  It's been proven that you will generally travel in the direction on which you are focused, voluntarily or involuntarily.

2. Know your limits. Push them, sure. But know them.  If you try to hop on the steepest slope your first time, for the sake of impressing, you will embarass and likely injure yourself. Take the small steps to the top, and you will appreciate your journey that much more.



skiapache.com



3. Better safe than sorry. I was the only one in my group who opted to rent a helmet. It looked kind of nerdy. I was also the only one who flipped and went airborne. Thank God for my cautious nature.



4. Never give up. In fact, expect and accept failure. At some point, you will fall. You're fighting against greater forces. Like gravity. So just anticipate the falls, and brace yourself to get back up, despite the fact that you will inevitably fall again.

5. Find your balance. It is the only way to stay afloat. Stay attuned to your own needs and strengths. Know how much is too much, and you will eventually know how much is just right.



6. Your greatest opponent is yourself. Always. It is not a competition. Nobody around you is worried about going faster or smoother than you do. The more experienced people are worried only about bettering themselves. They just hope you keep out of their paths. The less experienced people are focused on not falling again. The only person over whom you must prevail is your current self.

"In the mountains, the shortest way is from peak to peak; but for that you must have long legs." - Friedrich  Nietzsche

Chronicle Books' Happy Haul-idays Contest

My friend Lacretia of ReadyHeart blog recently posted about Chronicle Books' Happy Haul-idays Contest, and I was ecstatic! Chronicle Books is giving away up to $500 worth of books to one blogger and one lucky blog commenter! We all know I love books, and free books are that much better.

All you have to do is post a list of books (valued at a total of $500 or less) on your blog by December 10th to enter.  If you win, you get the whole stack of books, and so does one person who commented on your post about the Haul-iday Contest post. That's it! You'll find my list below.  Make sure you comment to enter for your chance to win with me!

Flour: Spectacular Recipes from Boston's Flour Bakery + Cafe

Tea & Crumpets

The Big Book of Potluck

Bon Appetit

Decorate

1000 Interior Details for the Home

Penny Saving Household Helper

Apartment Therapy Presents...

This Is My Best: Great Writers Share Their Best Works

Audrey Hepburn: International Cover Girl

Secret Lives of Great Authors

The Writer's Tool Box
IDEO Eyes Open: London
Paper + Craft
Little Book of Letterpress
Creative, Inc.
Work It: Visual Therapy's Guide to Your Ultimate Career Wardrobe
Fitness 9 to 5
Kitchen Sticky Notes
Thinking With Type
Writer's Workshop in a Book
The Observation Deck

Grand Total: 499.65

Immanuel: The Reason for the Season

Christmas is upon us.  I'm so proud; I've nearly completed my shopping. Thank you, God, for Amazon!

Sunday in church, our minister talked about what Christians merrily dub "the reason for the season," better known as Jesus Christ.  It is so easy to get caught up in all the hooplah of holiday shopping and office parties and forget why we celebrate.

What really touched me was how Max Lucado interpreted the story of Christmas.  He said that what some may refer to as the most important moment in history was clothed in so much normalcy.  An ordinary Joe and Mary had a baby in a homely manger. They were in Bethlehem to pay their taxes, as most ordinary people are required. And yet, THE something miraculous came of it. 

God makes ordinary moments extraordinary.  He makes normal people reach their potential.  He walks among us.  Immanuel- "God with us."

I thought I'd share this video. It really captures the spirit of Christmas. The Opera Company of Philadelphia turned a stressful, hectic shopping holiday into a miraculous moment to behold.  They really raised the spirits of some Macy's shoppers, and this video has lifted my heart. Enjoy!

On Board for Fun!

So, I promised a short entry about our cruise adventures, and it has been a few weeks already.  I've finally recovered from the post-vacation semi-depression (what do you mean no chocolate buffets, slot machines or cute, animal-shaped towels at home?!) enough to relive some of my favorite travel memories. Here are a few pictures: 



The Bon Voyage Party on our deck. We weren't even out of port yet.
Cruisers waste no time hitting the pool!

The decor theme on the ship was Classical Artists.
There were so many gorgeous murals and art pieces. It felt so formal and decadent.
I loved this err..chandelier.. inspired by my favorite paintings- Van Gogh's Sunflowers.

The port in Montego Bay.
I'm determined to return to Jamaica for much more than 8 hours!
The island is like a dream, and there is so much to see and do.

 

Dolphin Cove in Ocho Rios. We got to swim and kiss the dolphins!
Unfortunately, they wouldn't allow us to take pictures of them.



This house on Grand Cayman Island has maintained its original
integrity through hundreds of years' worth of Caribbean hurricanes!
I was impressed.



I refused to leave the islands without visiting Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville.
I know. How shamelessly tourist-y of me.





In Cozumel, we visited a Mayan ruins site.

This arch represented the 7 levels of entrance into the Heavens.



Each night, the steward left us a little towel animal. So cute and fun!





I think the most important part of any vacation is good company.
I'm glad I got to share this experience with D.
If I got shipwrecked in Jamaica, I'd want it to be with him.
And a pina colada. I'd never complain.

Unfortunately, we lost one of our cameras in the second port. So you're missing out on our waterfall trek at Dunn's River Falls, playing with the stingrays, and hugging the sea turtles. But, trust me, it was awesome.

I'm so glad we chose Carnival.  It is like no other hospitality company I have ever encountered. Our crew was amazing. Service was phenomenal. The food was to die for! It was an amazing experience. If you've never cruised, I suggest you make plans!

Designer is a Girl's Best Friend! [Rent the Runway]

I think most girls fawn over designer dresses at one point or another. There's just something about the shimmer! The feel! The $700 price tag?!  I hate thumbing through the pages of Lucky or Vogue and falling in love with fabulous frocks, only to snap back to the reality that I'm just not quite Lucky enough to be En Vogue.

Unfortunately, as a young professional, my eyes are often bigger than my pocketbook. Isn't life just so unfair?

As I once pleaded with explained to my mother during a pre-prom-night discussion, something about the right dress just changes everything!

 What girl doesn't die for the perfect birthday party dress?



Betsey Johnson's "Evening Gumdrop"
For some reason, I always want to look like a cupcake on my b-day.



 Don't you sometimes just need a dress that makes you feel unstoppable for a girls' night out on the town, like this one by Nicole Miller, aptly named "Make Him Regret It"?

One of my girlfriends just introduced me to a way you can avoid dreaded impulse-debt a'la The Girl in the Green Scarf, and refrain from the shameful act of "keeping the price tags on."

Rent the Runway was created by two fashion-forward Harvard business students with the same affinity for the finer things in style, and the same modest budget as myself. On the website, you can essentially rent designer dresses and accessories for as low as $50 for four days.  It's like having access to your more fashionable, more affluent older sister's closet, without the guilt trips! 

Not only does RTR send you a postage-paid return envelope for your dress, they also send you a back-up size for free, just in case the fit looked different online. Every dress is dry-cleaned between each customer, and is released from the lineup as soon as it shows signs of wear. If you're clumsy cautious like me, you can also purchase a $5 insurance against any rips, tears, or stains.

It is probably more practical to hop over to TJ-Maxx before you hit the club, but I think RTR would be ideal for weddings, work engagements, charity functions, or other special occassions when you want to step up from clearance rack chic.

Sparkle all the way!

The Christmas lights are up at the mall!  The Toys R' Us commercials are in full rotation!  I turned OFF the air-conditioner before bed last night (in Texas!).

The holidays are coming!  I'm planning a holiday cocktail party and I just love getting together with friends and family during the most wonderful time of year! Fashion-wise, I've always felt like Christmas-time inspires me to wrap myself up like a present. Nothing says holiday fun like lots of sparkle and bows. Who doesn't love bows?

Cocktail Dresses by Elie Tahari
Evening Shoes by Nine West